A Virtuous Wife … Who Can Find?
by Megan Morgan
Recently, I was having a discussion with a young lady in college. She was asking me several questions about life in general, and more specifically about marriage. “Is it true that life only gets busier and more hectic after college?” she asked. I responded that there will always be different seasons of life. Some seasons will be busy and hectic, but in whatever season she should keep Christ as the center and try her best to live life with excellence. She then proceeded to ask me more questions about qualities and characteristics of a good wife. It did not take me long to realize that she was concerned about becoming a good wife one day, should God call her to such a union.
Marriage represents Christ’s relationship to the Church. Therefore, it should have similarities to this greater relationship. In our lives we are called to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. We should continue to learn, grow, and mature. Most who have been married for any amount of time will confirm that marriage takes work. Just as we have to cultivate spiritual disciplines in our lives, we should also cultivate certain disciplines in our marriages. In this article, I would like to share how Sarah Edwards (the wife of the famous pastor-theologian Jonathan Edwards) exhibited characteristics of a virtuous woman, and how she continued to grow in her marriage as she grew in Christ.
The Early Years
Sarah Pierrepont Edwards was born on January 9, 1710 to Rev. James Pierrepont and Mary Hooker in New Haven, Connecticut, one of the most distinguished families in Connecticut. As Noël Piper states, “Sarah’s education was the best a woman of that era typically received. She was accomplished in the social skills of polite society” [1]. She also was accomplished in sewing, knitting, quilting, playing the lute, and reciting Catechisms. Elisabeth D. Dodds remarks, “Everyone mentions her beauty and her way of putting people at ease” [2].
Before Jonathan Edwards married Sarah, he gives this description of her in his personal writings:
She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and sweetness of temper, uncommon purity in her affections; is most just and praiseworthy in all her actions; and you could not persuade her to do anything thought wrong of sinful . . . She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and universal benevolence of mind; especially after those times in which this great God has manifested himself to her mind [3].
Jonathan knew that he wanted to marry Sarah. She possessed characteristics that were admirable to him, perhaps because they were in such contrast to his own. Sarah’s social graces and sweet spirit complimented Jonathan’s shyness and intellect very well. However, one thing that they both shared was their love for God and one other.
Christ-Centered Home
“A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30b).
Jonathan and Sarah were married on July 28, 1727. Their home was centered on Christ from day one. Everyone in the household would start the day with prayers and Scripture. Jonathan and Sarah would end their day in prayer together. Even when God blessed them with eleven children, they continued the act of family worship. Dobbs expresses as much in her book:
One source of the family stability was the steady dependable routine of prayers which they had together, before breakfast and again after supper. Edwards’ choice of Scripture to read at these times is revealing: he was partial to the poetic books of the Bible the psalms, Paul’s passage on charity, the homely advice of Ecclesiastes. The surge and thunder of the King James Bible, heard twice a day aloud in their father’s voice, became part of the children’s earliest memories [4].
The family was accustomed to Christ being a part of their home. Even in the mundane tasks of the day, Christ showed up. For example they did not have timers as we do today; so they would sing hymns to keep track of time. Jonathan and Sarah began their day with the Lord and ended it consecrated to Him.
Sarah’s Home
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Prov. 31:11-12).
This rang true in Sarah’s life. She was definitely a helpmate to Jonathan. She saw the job of taking care of her home as an opportunity to help Jonathan have time to study and work. She did a noteworthy job of taking care of her home. “It was a happy circumstance that he [Jonathan] could trust everything . . . to the care of Mrs. Edwards with entire safety and with undoubting confidence,” Dobbs writes. “She was a most judicious and faithful mistress of a family, habitually industrious, a sound economist, managing her household affairs with diligence and discretion” [5].
In addition to their home, Jonathan could also trust her in areas of intellect and ministry. Often as he processed his thoughts, he would talk them over with Sarah. She was his confidant and friend. “Her husband treated her as a fully mature being as a person whose conversation entertained him, whose spirit nourished his own religious life, whose presence gave him repose,” Dobbs explains. “Edwards would test the day’s harvest of ideas against Sarah’s practical intelligence, or he would talk over a parish problem with her” [6].
“Her children also rise up and bless her” (Prov. 31:27a).
Even though God blessed the Edwards with eleven children, “[t]he house functioned efficiently because all of these highly individual children were taught to work together” [7]. Sarah did a remarkable job in raising her children to have great character. Each child knew what his/her parents expected of them. Samuel Hopkins comments,
She had an excellent way of governing her children; she knew how to make them regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less heavy blows. She seldom punished them and in speaking to them, used gentle and pleasant words. If any correction was necessary, she did not administer it in a passion; and when she had occasion to reprove and rebuke she would do it in few words, without warmth and noise [8].
Sarah also believed that discipline was essential early on for a child. Indeed, her children loved her, as expressed in their letters, and she loved them.
“She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy” (Prov. 31:20).
Hospitality reverberated through Sarah’s home. In spite of having a full household with little means, she was always willing to open her home to travelers and visitors, many of whom testified to her generous spirit in their writings. It was not uncommon for Jonathan to have an apprentice or visitors in their home. Again Hopkins recognized that Sarah “took note the need of a gloomy young stranger.” Sarah knew the importance of loving others as Christ had loved her.
Sarah’s Sanctification
“Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future” (Prov. 31:25).
As remarkable a woman as Sarah was, she was also very human. Her body was physically weak at times. She struggled with pride and jealousy. She worried about what others thought of her (especially her own husband).
So much did she strive for Jonathan’s approval that for several weeks in 1742 she experienced a time of anguish and guilt after Jonathan had disapproved at how she spoke in a certain conversation with a Mr. Williams. This was a period of depression in Sarah Edwards’ life. However it was also a time of sanctification, if her personal narrative (and Jonathan’s) is any indication.
In Introduction to Sarah’s Narratives, Jennifer Adams expresses, “Everything on earth seemed inconsequential, so long as she had Christ. The more she beheld Him in His holiness, the more she saw her own sinfulness and filth. She was grieved, humbled, and broken” [9]. After this period she stopped trying to please everyone and instead focused on living worthy of her calling.
Response
Sarah Edwards’ life reflected Christ, characteristics of a virtuous woman, and continual sanctification. She exhibited dignity, excellence, grace, hospitality, love, and strength. It is so critical to strive for excellence, no matter our gender. Marriage is a blessing from God, and such an important decision.
If you have not made this decision yet, it is essential to seek wisdom and use discretion in choosing your mate. If you have, endeavor to cultivate a relationship centered on the Lord daily. Give grace and love as Christ bestows on us each day. Clothe yourself in strength and dignity. Continue to grow and mature. Love your spouse as the church should love Christ.
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[1] Noël Piper, Faithful Women & Their Extraordinary God (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 2005), 15, 16.
[2] Elisabeth D. Dodds, Marriage to a Difficult Man: The Uncommon Union of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards (1971, repr. Laurel, MS: Audubon Press, 2003), 15.
[3] Ibid., 16.
[4] Ibid., 40.
[5] Ibid., 29.
[6] Ibid., 30.
[7] Ibid., 38.
[8] Ibid., 35 & 36.
[9] Jennifer Adams, “Introduction” to In Love with Christ: The Narrative of Sarah Edwards (Forest, VA: Corner Pillar Press, 2012), 53.
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Megan Morgan graduated from Austin Peay State University in 2012 with a degree in Special Education K-12. She is the wife of Phillip Morgan and mother of Isaiah. They currently reside in Cedar Hill, TN She works as homemaker, church Secretary at Heads Free Will Baptist Church, and as an independent distributor of Premier Designs, Inc. Some of her interests include behavioral management, family ministry, gardening, homemaking, music, and reading.
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